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Organ Emergency Codes


nachthorn
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In which case, could you simply type this, please?!!

 

Otherwise it will become like the dialogue on U.S. police dramas - with a code of numbers and letters for various offences and situations....

 

B)

(Starting a new topic to avoid ruining the Bach organ one...) There are some times when temptation is just too great. This is one of them...

 

CODES FOR ORGAN-IC EMERGENCY SITUATIONS

 

10-0 Power failure, blower won't start.

10-1 Sense of humour failure, organist won't start.

10-2 Last minute change of hymns - take cover.

10-3 Dropped console key between pedals.

10-4 Wiped off the piston settings for tonight's celebrity recitalist.

10-5 Arrive home from cathedral visit with celebrity recitalist's music instead of yours.

10-6 Hymns played from wrong hymnbook. No difference made to congregation's singing.

10-7 Drunk while playing Bach. Receive unexpected applause at the end.

10-8 Mental block while improvising. Result sounds like something by Margaret Rizza.

 

Over to you ;)

 

 

(For the genuine police codes, see here.)

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Guest Psalm 78 v.67

Not exactly a code, but t a crematorium that shall be nameless, the chapel attendant once slipped me a note during a service that read: "switch your monitor to camera 3 - short skirt in front row!"

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Not exactly a code, but t a crematorium that shall be nameless, the chapel attendant once slipped me a note during a service that read: "switch your monitor to camera 3 - short skirt in front row!"

 

Honestly, Psalm 78, I'm getting quite concerned about you - first you allow dishy photographers in the organ loft and now you look at short-skirted mourners at crems. What ever next?! B)

 

Peter

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Guest Psalm 78 v.67
I expect he'll be smoting them in the hinder parts! :D

 

Should that not be "smiting" ? B)

 

But they would not be put to a perpetual shame as a result. ;)

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Guest Psalm 78 v.67
Honestly, Psalm 78, I'm getting quite concerned about you - first you allow dishy photographers in the organ loft and now you look at short-skirted mourners at crems. What ever next?! :huh:

 

Peter

 

A couple or 3 of afterthoughts - a) I didn't have much choice in the 1st scenario - she arrived while I was playing a hymn; (ok - even if she had asked I would have said yes anyway! :wub:

 

B) How do you know that I DID switch to camera 4 ? :rolleyes:

 

c) What would YOU have done?

 

d) by PM Peter!

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Not exactly a code, but t a crematorium that shall be nameless, the chapel attendant once slipped me a note during a service that read: "switch your monitor to camera 3 - short skirt in front row!"

Have a good friend who played at Exeter Cathedral for his college's carol service a few years ago, and was pleased to find the remote control and zoom functions on the CCTV screen in the loft there. He did some good zooming in from above, but made the terrible mistake of later inviting the nubile targets of his furtive surveillance to visit the organ loft, and didn't reset the CCTV, which rather gave the game away. :huh:

 

He also claims that, on another occasion at Exeter, using the camera system he spotted a woman in a big hat peering into the mouth of one of the Contra Violone pipes in the south transept. You can guess the rest. Apparently the hat came clean off, which he wasn't expecting. Sadly this was in the days before YouTube... :rolleyes:

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A couple or 3 of afterthoughts - a) I didn't have much choice in the 1st scenario - she arrived while I was playing a hymn; (ok - even if she had asked I would have said yes anyway! :wub:

 

B) How do you know that I DID switch to camera 4 ? :huh:

 

c) What would YOU have done?

 

d) by PM Peter!

 

 

yes but you said it was camera 3 - so what was going on with camera 4??!! ;)

 

c) the same :rolleyes:

 

Peter

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Guest Psalm 78 v.67
yes but you said it was camera 3 - so what was going on with camera 4??!! :rolleyes:

 

c) the same :huh:

 

Peter

 

d'oh! Camera 4 is the commital room! I meant 3!

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CODES FOR ORGAN-IC EMERGENCY SITUATIONS

 

10-0 Power failure, blower won't start.

10-1 Sense of humour failure, organist won't start.

10-2 Last minute change of hymns - take cover.

10-3 Dropped console key between pedals.

10-4 Wiped off the piston settings for tonight's celebrity recitalist.

10-5 Arrive home from cathedral visit with celebrity recitalist's music instead of yours.

10-6 Hymns played from wrong hymnbook. No difference made to congregation's singing.

10-7 Drunk while playing Bach. Receive unexpected applause at the end.

10-8 Mental block while improvising. Result sounds like something by Margaret Rizza.

10-3 brings to mind the time when the console key was identical to the door/ignition key for my colleague's Morris Minor. So he always had a spare console key if, as occasionally happened, I took it home by mistake. Equally, he knew he always had access to a spare car key. I often wondered how many other cars had the same lock.

10-4 revives a nightmare I hoped I had wiped for ever from my memory! :huh:

JC

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(Starting a new topic to avoid ruining the Bach organ one...) There are some times when temptation is just too great. This is one of them...

 

CODES FOR ORGAN-IC EMERGENCY SITUATIONS

 

10-0 Power failure, blower won't start.

10-1 Sense of humour failure, organist won't start.

10-2 Last minute change of hymns - take cover.

10-3 Dropped console key between pedals.

10-4 Wiped off the piston settings for tonight's celebrity recitalist.

10-5 Arrive home from cathedral visit with celebrity recitalist's music instead of yours.

10-6 Hymns played from wrong hymnbook. No difference made to congregation's singing.

10-7 Drunk while playing Bach. Receive unexpected applause at the end.

10-8 Mental block while improvising. Result sounds like something by Margaret Rizza.

 

Over to you :huh:

(For the genuine police codes, see here.)

 

10-10 Starting a hymn in Eb, getting to the last verse in Emaj, with no idea when you switched.

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10-11 - Vicar in close proximity to organ loft

10-12 - Verger in close proximity to organ loft

10-12a - random person in close proximity to organ loft

10-13 - Chorister parents approaching

10-13a - failed choirster parents approaching

10-14 - New worship song

10-15 - Sermon over 10 minutes - check lunch in oven. Require Sunday crossword.

10-16 - Unknown visiting preacher

10-17 - Visiting organist lurking close to organ loft after voluntary

10-18 - Praise band in church

10-19 - Choir AGM

10-20 - Toaster salesman. Require baseball bat with nails and SWOT team.

10-21 - Unattended Mad person in church.

10-22 - Unattended Mad person in church alone with you in the building

10-23 - Music list for next month required in next day

10-24 - Music list for next month required in next hour

10-25 - Music list for next month required last week

10-26 - Missing choir music

10-27 - Missing choir

10-28 - flat choir

10-29 - sharp choir (no longer used)

10-30 - choir behind beat

10-31 - choir ahead of beat

10-32 - Trebles/sopranos and altos ahead of beat; tenors and basses behind

10-33 - congregation behind beat

10-34 - congregation in time (rarely used)

10-35 - Swell box shut on arrival

10-36 - Children involved in leading service

10-37 - Sunday school leader involved in leading service

10-38 - Excited, incontinent bats in church. Suspect new sharp mixture may emulate bat mating calls

10-39 - Bride 15 minutes late

10-40 - person close to organ loft before/during/after wedding - use 10-21

10-41 - Mother of bride or usher close to organ loft before/during/after wedding - use 10-21 with high urgency

10-42 - people ringing you about wedding music. use 10-22

10-43 - People want to see you after service - misc. (usually about hymn speeds)

10-44 - Unpracticed organ voluntary on music list to be performed at end of service

10-45 - Pencils stolen from console. Inform police.

10-46 - PCC member wants to get rid of organ. Use 10-21

10-47 - Church member wants to get rid of organ. Use 10-21

10-48 - Charismatic Evagelicals. Use multiple 10-21s

10-49 - Over-enthusiastic choir director

10-50 - Visiting choir

10-51 - Someone playing organ without your permission. Often leads to 10-22.

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10-11 - Vicar in close proximity to organ loft

10-12 - Verger in close proximity to organ loft

10-12a - random person in close proximity to organ loft

10-13 - Chorister parents approaching

10-13a - failed choirster parents approaching

10-14 - New worship song

10-15 - Sermon over 10 minutes - check lunch in oven. Require Sunday crossword.

10-16 - Unknown visiting preacher

10-17 - Visiting organist lurking close to organ loft after voluntary

10-18 - Praise band in church

10-19 - Choir AGM

10-20 - Toaster salesman. Require baseball bat with nails and SWOT team.

10-21 - Unattended Mad person in church.

10-22 - Unattended Mad person in church alone with you in the building

10-23 - Music list for next month required in next day

10-24 - Music list for next month required in next hour

10-25 - Music list for next month required last week

10-26 - Missing choir music

10-27 - Missing choir

10-28 - flat choir

10-29 - sharp choir (no longer used)

10-30 - choir behind beat

10-31 - choir ahead of beat

10-32 - Trebles/sopranos and altos ahead of beat; tenors and basses behind

10-33 - congregation behind beat

10-34 - congregation in time (rarely used)

10-35 - Swell box shut on arrival

10-36 - Children involved in leading service

10-37 - Sunday school leader involved in leading service

10-38 - Excited, incontinent bats in church. Suspect new sharp mixture may emulate bat mating calls

10-39 - Bride 15 minutes late

10-40 - person close to organ loft before/during/after wedding - use 10-21

10-41 - Mother of bride or usher close to organ loft before/during/after wedding - use 10-21 with high urgency

10-42 - people ringing you about wedding music. use 10-22

10-43 - People want to see you after service - misc. (usually about hymn speeds)

10-44 - Unpracticed organ voluntary on music list to be performed at end of service

10-45 - Pencils stolen from console. Inform police.

10-46 - PCC member wants to get rid of organ. Use 10-21

10-47 - Church member wants to get rid of organ. Use 10-21

10-48 - Charismatic Evagelicals. Use multiple 10-21s

10-49 - Over-enthusiastic choir director

10-50 - Visiting choir

10-51 - Someone playing organ without your permission. Often leads to 10-22.

 

Brilliant! :blink:

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10-52 - congregation member spotted who insists on making up his own harmony

10-53 - minister, choir and congregation in perfect tune and time (last used in 1968)

10-54 - approaching future bride

10-55 - approaching future bride's mother

10-56 - switching manuals without realising in a trio sonata

10-57 - pedal trombone cypher during the Agnus Dei

10-58 - organist arrested for attempted murder (usually following on from 10-55)

 

Peter

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10-59 - unexpected content of sermon/notices makes planned voluntary completely inappropriate (usually big celebratory piece ruined by unexpected death of dearly beloved member of congregation)

10-60 - impromptu rearranging of service order by minister

10-61 - congregation stands up/sits down at inappropriate time

10-62 - eighth page of voluntary suddenly found to be upside down/missing entirely

10-63 - urgent necessity to thump out melody fff on realisation that the hymn "which everyone knows" is unfamiliar to 99.9% of congregation

10-64 - (usually within weddings) order of service reproduces words last sung several centuries ago, in subtly different metre to that in the hymn book (yes, 'Be Thou My Vision', I'm looking at you)

10-64a - and in particular, "Praise Him, Praise Him" instead of "Alleluia" in "Praise my soul the king of heaven", thereby utterly confounding sopranos when it comes to the descant

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10-59 - unexpected content of sermon/notices makes planned voluntary completely inappropriate (usually big celebratory piece ruined by unexpected death of dearly beloved member of congregation)

10-60 - impromptu rearranging of service order by minister

10-61 - congregation stands up/sits down at inappropriate time

10-62 - eighth page of voluntary suddenly found to be upside down/missing entirely

10-63 - urgent necessity to thump out melody fff on realisation that the hymn "which everyone knows" is unfamiliar to 99.9% of congregation

10-64 - (usually within weddings) order of service reproduces words last sung several centuries ago, in subtly different metre to that in the hymn book (yes, 'Be Thou My Vision', I'm looking at you)

10-64a - and in particular, "Praise Him, Praise Him" instead of "Alleluia" in "Praise my soul the king of heaven", thereby utterly confounding sopranos when it comes to the descant

 

10-65 - Bagpiper hired by wedding party.

10-65a - Operations reminder -Rules of engagement. Collateral damage to pipes whilst shooting piper is manslaughter. Collateral fatal wounding of piper whilst shooting the pipes is 'accidental death' - so be sure to get it right.

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