The Art Of Chat

[DouglasCorr]

A curious feature of the recent BBC Bach Christmas discussion board, was that the majority of the postings didn’t run to more than one or two replies, if any. Nevertheless, as it was Christmastime and I was sure that there would be many Bach Christmas people with similar obsessions to myself, I decided to try and strike up a conversation. I adopted the alias of Quintadena, surely a magnet in itself?

 

I decided to begin with a sensational headline: “Bach returned as Karl Richter”. I thought that would do the trick. I had one reply. I then decided that Bach Christmas listeners must all be intellectuals, not interested in sensationalism. Some erudition might stimulate a conversation. I therefore presented the following thesis.

 

The statue of the young Bach in Arnstadt is well known (My Webpage). This sculpture was based on contemporary records, forensic evidence, portraits and photographs. It clearly shows that Bach played the organ entirely with his heels; contrary to current teachings. It is therefore a small step to conclude that his virtuoso technique included a chromatic glissando using heels alone; this foreshadowed Liszt’s chromatic glissando for keyboard over a hundred years later. The curious ornament in the Toccata in D minor, thought by many to be an arpeggio, in fact indicates a chromatic pedal glissando…….

 

Still no reply.

 

This was clearly too technical; Radio 3 listeners, without a weekly organ recital, are not what they once were. I decided next on mystery.

 

I reported that by some strange methods, I had been in contact with Jakob, a grave digger at St Thomas’s, who also pumped Bach’s organ. He heard everything, and told me much. How Bach played using all the manuals and with frequent changes…. I offered to divulge even more information…

 

Not one reply!!

 

Clearly it was going to be very difficult for me to have an organ chat. So I thought that I might get something going by counterfeit. I would use a second pseudonym! I decided that no one would connect Speel Fluit 3 with me, but, as I was registering it, the BBC site locked up and crashed. Bad omen??

 

After a sleepless night, in desperation I decided that I had to raise the stakes. I announced that if no one chatted with me, I would pull out my stopper!!!

 

Not even a “Go on then” or “Do it!”

 

People just didn’t like my typeface.

[Nick Bennett]

And the subject for discussion is .... ?

[pcnd5584]

I propose:

 

'Beavers'.