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The end of the pipe organ is nigh?

Colin Pykett

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9 hours ago, Colin Pykett said:

Just came across this as I was having a gentle browse:


It wasn't dated April 1st either.  Strange, as they missed an opportunity to really make the point!

It sounds absolutely ridiculous, to the extent that it must be some sort of joke.

However, the way things are going these days (in this country at least) with the rise of the 'professionally offended', it wouldn't surprise me in the least if it was a serious condemnation of the instrument!

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No, it’s a very obvious spoof.  Compare the quoted names of the lady Bishops with their real ones -  “Rachel Weaktree, Bishop of Glucoseter” and “Viva Ann Foul, Bishop of Bristle”!  There are also some decidedly odd ideas about pipe speaking lengths and pitch!

But this kind of thing isn’t really that new.  Esther Rantzen was getting laughs with double entendres about the organ on her TV show decades ago.

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All is revealed on a little further delving into the host website, including this CV of the author:

“The Rev’d Dr Jules Gomes (BA, BD, MTh, PhD) is a journalist and academic. He wrote the weekly ‘Rebel Priest’ column for ‘The Conservative Woman’ and is now a columnist for ‘Republic Standard’. Jules earned his doctorate from the University of Cambridge and taught at the United Theological College, London School of Theology, and Liverpool Hope University. He enjoys philosophy, literature, art, classical and jazz music, target shooting, and motorcycling. He lives with his wife and cat on the Isle of Man.”

Liverpool Hope University would have doubtless provided opportunities to get to know the nearby ‘Gravissima’ (Liverpool Cathedral: Resultant Bass 64’), Tuba Magna and Trompette Militaire.

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Well, my eldest daughter's a girl and yesterday she played Max Reger's Choralfantasia on "Ein feste Burg ist unser Gott" from start to finish without stopping. Now if ever one piece of music could be classed as severely masculine, that one has to be a serious contender.

When I showed her that article this morning, she just shook her head, smiled and said "What a load of flippin'* nonsense*. What are women supposed to do then, just stand there and polish the stop knobs?"

* she didn't actually use these two words but much stronger expletives!

With best wishes,


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