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Things That Really Annoy You


Davidb

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I think Monsieur means the antipenultimate note. :)

 

That would be the one, Vox. :o

 

Oh, come come come! No no no! This is compulsory, especially with a big rit through wind and fire - THEN the piece de resistance - "Oh still small voice of calm...." and during the SECOND still small voice of calm, the opening line of the tune soloed out on oboe and tremulant at a distant octave with the box shut - the very still small voice of calm itself. You can add even more expression by performing an elaborate cellist's vibrato on the key and grinning to yourself, and possibly also by letting a tear drip down your cheek.

 

This is far from naff - it is in extremely good Victorian taste, as the long and profound silence which follows will conclusively prove!

 

I have to agree - playing the last half of the final stanza of Dear Lord and Father on a couple of diapason choruses and a few reeds just will not do! If tasetfully done (here I probably mean not too loud and with not too great a reduction at the end) it can be quite an effective example of word-painting. The final line played as a solo (or perhaps with an Hautbois descant, can sound quite beautiful.

 

So there.

 

B)

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I think Monsieur means the antipenultimate note. :o

 

Antepenultimate. A chap with a classical name such as yourself really should know better. B)

 

As for Abbot's Leigh, are our basses the only ones who are completely incapable of singing F# G G A? It always becomes F# G G# A... despite at least five years of my correcting them.

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Antepenultimate. A chap with a classical name such as yourself really should know better. B)
:o
As for Abbot's Leigh, are our basses the only ones who are completely incapable of singing F# G G A? It always becomes F# G G# A... despite at least five years of my correcting them.
I've known basses do that sort of thing out of sheer cussedness.
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In O Little Town of Bethlehem, verse 3, congregations invariably sing: "where meek souls will receive him still, the dear Christ enters in" whereas the comma should be between "him" and "still". Oh and there's an extremely naff extra verse printed in sme RC hymn books. "Where chldren pure and happy pray to the blessed Child"....

 

Regards

 

Peter

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Oh, come come come! No no no! This is compulsory, especially with a big rit through wind and fire - THEN the piece de resistance - "Oh still small voice of calm...." and during the SECOND still small voice of calm, the opening line of the tune soloed out on oboe and tremulant at a distant octave with the box shut - the very still small voice of calm itself. You can add even more expression by performing an elaborate cellist's vibrato on the key and grinning to yourself, and possibly also by letting a tear drip down your cheek.

 

This is far from naff - it is in extremely good Victorian taste, as the long and profound silence which follows will conclusively prove!

 

:rolleyes:

 

Aaaahg!

 

I have to agree - playing the last half of the final stanza of Dear Lord and Father on a couple of diapason choruses and a few reeds just will not do! If tasetfully done (here I probably mean not too loud and with not too great a reduction at the end) it can be quite an effective example of word-painting. The final line played as a solo (or perhaps with an Hautbois descant, can sound quite beautiful.

 

So there.

 

B)

 

:huh:

 

Marginally better!!

 

AJJ

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Only that it's what Bill Bryson calls the "London, England" syndrome - if you are confronted with a hymn, and sometimes you have part of it explained to you, then quickly you cease ever to look at it and think about it for yourself, on the basis that if the minister didn't think it worthy of comment it can't be any good (in Bryson's example it prevents newspaper-reading Americans from ever having to wonder just where the heck London is). It's human laziness. The same problem is engendered by piped music in public places - sensitivity and appreciation are dulled.

 

I am no expert but I personally find it can be far more effective when someone quotes a few lines or a whole verse during the intercessions, when there IS actually time for reflection and thought, and the ear is focussing on words, rather than when trying to find a page number (or look at a screen) and preparing to stand up, particularly when the ear is anticipating music and therefore listening in a quite different way.

 

Hi

 

Sorry - I'm still not entirely convinced. But then it's what I've always been used to in the various churches that I've attended. These days, I don't necessarily announce everything (depends on particular service and who the musicians are). I have no problem either way - as long as the congregation aren't taken by surprise too often!

 

Every Blessing

 

Tony

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Back to pet hates - Dear Lord & Father............a huge noise at 'wind & fire' then off the ppp range for the 'still small voice' - it always makes my toes curl at the naffness of it!

 

AJJ

 

PS It may be easier with general pistons and a Chamade but I still dislike it all the same!

 

 

=============================

 

 

My favourite hymnological "issue"......don't you just hate that word?

 

I have to go into physical and mental training for "Dear Lord and Father.....give me strength!"

 

I find that "fff" to "ppp" is a problem on a tracker-organ without pistons or at least 2 registrands, but I've worked out a method.

 

The "wind and fire" bit is no problem, but getting the 8ft Principal, the 4ft Octave and the two Mixtures off, in what I have worked out as little more than 103 nanoseconds, is quite an art.

 

The technique is to move the upper body to the left and then swiftly to the right.....a bit like doing the "Agadoo" dance......hurling myself sideways, fingers splayed on both hands, and hitting the stops with them at about warp-speed 3; both arms flailing like an octopus doing "hip hop."

 

9 times out of ten it works....dramatically drawing attention to the fact that the church employs a live musician.

 

The tenth time it can go badly wrong, and the "still small calm" is enlivened by a half shut-off Sequialtera, which squeaks away like the brakes of several passing omnibuses.

 

If it goes well, young "Bwayan" will mop his brow, but if it goes badly, there the little swine is,

giving me the thumbs down, with both arms stretched out to one side.

 

I swear I'll kill him mid-mass one of these mornings!

 

:rolleyes:

 

MM

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=============================

My favourite hymnological "issue"......don't you just hate that word?

 

I have to go into physical and mental training for "Dear Lord and Father.....give me strength!"

 

I find that "fff" to "ppp" is a problem on a tracker-organ without pistons or at least 2 registrands, but I've worked out a method.

 

The "wind and fire" bit is no problem, but getting the 8ft Principal, the 4ft Octave and the two Mixtures off, in what I have worked out as little more than 103 nanoseconds, is quite an art.

 

The technique is to move the upper body to the left and then swiftly to the right.....a bit like doing the "Agadoo" dance......hurling myself sideways, fingers splayed on both hands, and hitting the stops with them at about warp-speed 3; both arms flailing like an octopus doing "hip hop."

 

9 times out of ten it works....dramatically drawing attention to the fact that the church employs a live musician.

 

The tenth time it can go badly wrong, and the "still small calm" is enlivened by a half shut-off Sequialtera, which squeaks away like the brakes of several passing omnibuses.

 

MM

 

Amazing athletics! - I just don't bother too much - with one manual, stops in a single line & very little composition help (that works properly anyway) my gesture in the right direction is to shut off the unenclosed OD and jab hopefully at the ratchet Swell lever so that at least the 'Still small voice....' has a suitable and tasteful reduction in volume albeit with the clonk from the unbalanced swell shutting!

 

AJJ

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=============================

I have to go into physical and mental training for "Dear Lord and Father.....give me strength!"

 

I find that "fff" to "ppp" is a problem on a tracker-organ without pistons or at least 2 registrands, but I've worked out a method.

 

[description of stop control snipped as it has already been quoted once]

 

:rolleyes:

 

MM

This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I'm grateful I didn't have a mouthful of tea at the time. Many thanks.

 

Michael

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This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I'm grateful I didn't have a mouthful of tea at the time. Many thanks.

 

Michael

 

 

=============================

 

Just wait until I've revised my story "A Lancashire organ-crawl," incredibly based upon a true sequence of events involving several organs, many buses, a window-cleaner,real ale and an errant Victorian sewage system.

 

:rolleyes:

 

MM

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Just curious as to what other members of this board get annoyed about in the world of organ playing / choral music etc :

 

Over to you guys.

 

Then, of course, there is the well known 'God rest you, merry gentlemen' rather than 'God rest you merry, gentlemen'

 

One assumes the gentlemen in question were drunk.

 

John

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Then, of course, there is the well known 'God rest you, merry gentlemen' rather than 'God rest you merry, gentlemen'

 

One assumes the gentlemen in question were drunk.

 

John

 

If they were gentlemen of the choir, post nine lessons and carols, then it’s probably not a bad assumption to make.

 

B):huh::rolleyes:

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Oh, my goodness. Where do I start?

 

"Come and behold him, [bREATH] Born the king of angels" instead of "Come and behold him Born, [breath] the king of angels". This is also totally unreasonable considering that the punctuation in the hymn books is exactly what people sing. However the original Latin, "Natum videte regem angelorum", translates as "Behold the King of Angels who is born", so it grates.

 

Oh yes: and that unwritten passing note in the same carol.

 

Unfortunately, Vox, some hymnals do print that passing note!

 

Other gripes: The elongated "O" in "We Three Kings" (probably the most historically inaccurate carol ever written; I was told off by a chorister for not including it for Epiphany but I just said that I didn't like it).

 

As to screaming babies, we had not one but three yesterday, just as we started the communion anthem "Ave Verum" (Elgar). I have now started to petition the Vatican to ensure the immediate and surely long overdue canonisation of King Herod.

 

Salve, omnes

 

Peter

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Pet hate - parents who give children noisy toys to shut them up. One story - a child in my church had a favourite posession, a tin mug which he bashed, and bashed, and bashed................................. and bashed. One day finally snapped, got off the organ, walked to the baby in question, smiled at him and his parents -and gently removed the mug, taking it back to the organ, and all to tumutous applause from the congregation. Shortly afterwards they left to became Roman Catholics!

 

===========================

 

 

I would have recommended "The Salvation Army." They're into that sort of thing!

 

Which curiously reminds me of an interesting incident at 2.30am when I was 19, and which included a Chinese take-away, a sheepskin-rug and a Salvation Army hat hanging on the back of the door.

 

:rolleyes:

 

MM

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===========================

I would have recommended "The Salvation Army." They're into that sort of thing!

 

Which curiously reminds me of an interesting incident at 2.30am when I was 19, and which included a Chinese take-away, a sheepskin-rug and a Salvation Army hat hanging on the back of the door.

 

:huh:

 

MM

 

 

=========================

 

 

Realising that this could be hideously misunderstood, I would just point out that it was a game of "charades" and I chose "The lamb of God"

 

:rolleyes:

 

MM

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I have just read through all your list of complaints in one sitting. My God, what a lot of pedants you all are. :huh:

 

What about the call of mother nature? During the time when I was an organist for hire in London, the lack of an accessible toilet in churches was for me the ultimate bugbear. They were usually located in the (locked) vestry and could be on the moon for all the use they were. One of the reasons I gave the whole shebang up was that I got fed up with having to resort to finding the nearest bush to procure relief.

 

Elongated O's? Screaming babies? Bwyan B) ? Taking a breath before insteaf of after 'Born'? I'm beginning to pity the poor put upon clergy!

 

Get a life! :rolleyes:

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I have just read through all your list of complaints in one sitting. My God, what a lot of pedants you all are. :huh:

 

What about the call of mother nature? During the time when I was an organist for hire in London, the lack of an accessible toilet in churches was for me the ultimate bugbear. They were usually located in the (locked) vestry and could be on the moon for all the use they were. One of the reasons I gave the whole shebang up was that I got fed up with having to resort to finding the nearest bush to procure relief.

 

Elongated O's? Screaming babies? Bwyan B) ? Taking a breath before insteaf of after 'Born'? I'm beginning to pity the poor put upon clergy!

 

Get a life! :rolleyes:

 

 

========================

 

 

That is not a bugbear, that is "bogbare."

 

Have you never explored the multifarious uses for the brass flower-vase?

 

:P

 

MM

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A child in my church had a favourite posession, a tin mug which he bashed, and bashed, and bashed................................. tumutous applause from the congregation. Shortly afterwards they left to became Roman Catholics!

 

Was that the whole congregation or just the parents?

 

For several years we had a clergyman who, when he felt that the speed or key of a hymn did not suit his taste, would put his lips to the microphone and bellow along to the hymn in his chosen key and tempo, neither particularly consistently. The tempo I could often accomodate, but what was I supposed to do about the key in mid hymn? Can any of you out there improvise cunning modulations to suit such gentlemen?

 

The individual has moved on now, so his new organist has my sympathy.

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Was that the whole congregation or just the parents?

 

For several years we had a clergyman who, when he felt that the speed or key of a hymn did not suit his taste, would put his lips to the microphone and bellow along to the hymn in his chosen key and tempo, neither particularly consistently. The tempo I could often accomodate, but what was I supposed to do about the key in mid hymn? Can any of you out there improvise cunning modulations to suit such gentlemen?

 

The individual has moved on now, so his new organist has my sympathy.

 

The crematorium has a very useful button for dealing with such eventualities. Marked "Alternative Tuning On", pressing it and drawing lots of nice 4' Oktavs yields some interesting effects. In order to be prepared for its se, it is necessary to play as often as possible in at least 4 flats with the global tune wheel set to a "singable" position. Quarter comma meantone can then be deployed at a moment's notice.

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=========================

Realising that this could be hideously misunderstood, I would just point out that it was a game of "charades" and I chose "The lamb of God"

 

:lol:

 

MM

 

Seriously, have you ever thought of writing a book? I thought Gordon Reynolds' "Full Swell" was good for a laugh, but YOUR postings have a habit of reducing me to tearful gales of laughter - which is a bit embarrassing in the office.... but then I shouldn't really be doing this in the office ;)

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