Why Is There Always A Short Talk?

[gazman]

.....I have heard the congregation invited to stand, hymn number announced, first line read, number announced again, congregation invited to stand and number again - all for one hymn. We'd soon hear about it if the anthem was a bit prolonged.

Oh crumbs...that brings back memories of a female lay reader whom I used to suffer on a frequent basis. She had this condescending attitude which seemed to suggest that she regarded everybody else as utter imbeciles. This was very noticeable when she announced hymns. They would be announced (slowly) something like this "Now we shall all be upstanding to sing our next hymn which is the three-hundredth-and-sixty-fifth hymn in our red-coloured Ancient and Modern Revised hymn books which you will find in the pew in front of you. Hymn number three-hundred-and-sixty-five. Praise my SOUL, the KING of Heaven........to his FEET thy tribute BRING. Ransomed......healed......restored.....forgiven; WHO like me his PRAISE should SING. Hymn number three six five. Three-hundred-and-sixty-five".

 

Well, of course, I got fed up with this after a time and would start playing the play-over after her first announcement of the number. Hence, when she realized that she wasn't going to be able to shout the organ down, she began announcing hymns very slowly: "Let us all now stand to sing together a hymn in the red-covered Hymns Ancient and Modern hymn book which you will find in the pew in front of you. Hymn number Threeeeeeeee-huuuuundreeeeed-aaaaaaand-siiiiixtyyyyyy-fiiiiiiive".

 

She also had about four sermons which she rotated on a regular basis. As she did two Evensongs a month, the dwindling few of us attending Evensong could have got up and preached them for her. Her favourite was something about the Cross being "I" crossed out. Every couple of months she would announce "I was thinking only the other day, and the idea came to me that the Cross is "I" crossed out". You could hear the groan go around the half-dozen in the church, most notably from the organ loft.

[Janner]

Some wonderful stuff in here, and isn’t heartening to read it!

 

If only it were done more often with personality and aplomb. In my experience the Methodists and other free churches are generally far better at it than Anglicans. The deadliest sermons are those that are read, or sound as if they are being read - usually in a flat, emotionless voice.

 

I agree with most of what you say, except for the second sentence. Personally I wouldn't criticize the Anglicans in particular. Certainly there are some Anglicans who can be dull, but I have heard some of the others where I would substitute the words over emotional (to the point of being affected), repetitive, and certainly overlong! Perhaps we should just agree that the ability to preach well is a great and rare gift, and one greatly to be appreciated, wherever it is encountered.

 

Agreed, but if they can't say what they need to in 10 minutes or so is it not likely to fall on deaf ears?

 

R

 

Totally agree.

 

If, after nine lessons and carols, the congregation are still in such doubt as to the message that they need a sermon to interpret what they have just heard, there is something seriously wrong with the service in the first place.

 

Barry Williams

 

Straight to the point!

 

And who said that our cathedrals are "sermons in stone"?

 

Peter

 

Right again! I would suggest the same goes for most of our ancient parish churches also, and indeed said so to one of our PCC who was questioning the worth of maintaining our village church.

 

Oh crumbs...that brings back memories of a female lay reader whom I used to suffer…..

 

Very well told Gareth; really made me chuckle. Then I remembered it struck a chord with some of the antics in our own services.