D Quentin Bellamy Posted December 17, 2007 Share Posted December 17, 2007 I just "lost" a fairly high profile funeral to a neighbouring parish. The reason for this is because even before I had met or spoken to the family the FD was having to deal with a stream of demands from them as to how the Service would be. The family do not live in my parish, but earlier in the year there was a family christening here to which goodly chunk of the family arrived about 20 minutes late (with no apology). Apart from that, no other links with the church. The issue in question was that the family wanted CDs playing during the service. The policy here is that if it is really vital I will allow a CD to be played "on the way out" of church (and even then I don't really like it), but I absolutely insist on the family coming into the church to the sound of the organ. Since I endeavour to ensure that we have a first class organist available, it seems somewhat ridiculous for that person to be sitting there whilst CDs are playing. The CD in question was of a song called Diana.... can't think why, because that is not the name of the deceased or spouse. Anyway the FD (who is extremely supportive and conscientious) did his best to explain that the Vicar will allow a CD to leave but not to come into church. Apparently the discussion became quite heated with the FD standing his ground for the church, and with threats made by the family to "go to another church". Since I already have five funerals this week, it isn't exactly quiet around here. The FD called me up to tell me of their threat to go elsewhere, and I did the unthinkable, and told him to tell them that it is their choice. Consequently, the family have decided not to come to us. It's their funeral. Like most clergy I guess that I don't like people coming and telling me what to do in church. Brethren, is drawing the line in this manner the right thing to do? Or am I just being an old meanie?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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