gazman

Well, you could always learn BWV 532. It's a great show piece (especially if you're playing in full view of an audience!).

RANT ALERT! I've just returned home after playing for a carol concert for a certain organization who have an annual concert/service (I'm not sure which it was!) at one of my churches. I was asked to play for this event a couple of months ago, but was unable at that stage to play for it due to another booking and arranged for my assistant to play. However, a few days later they asked me if I could get a choir together as they were unable to find a choir to sing at the event. I said that I would arrange a choir for that evening taken from members of three of my choirs and rearrange my other booking in order to be available to play for this service. This was received with gratitude. A couple of weeks ago I had a message on my answerphone telling me that they had now found a "proper" choir, so there was no need for me to provide a choir! I was a bit miffed as you can imagine. It was a choir that I'd never heard of. I asked if they would send me the scores of what they were singing. Well, yesterday evening I found an envelope on my doorstep. Inside it was a pile of badly photocopied sheets of various carols (some single-sided, some double-sided, some short carols, others sprawling over a number of sheets, all loose) with illegible instructions written all over them, repeats crossed out and others drawn in, arrows drawn to different sections, and many of the scores greatly reduced in size to get two pages to fit on an A4 page, changes to notation, scribbled bits of manuscript inserted, loads of notes in red pen and crossings out &c with the result that a lot of it was barely readable. Due to a rehearsal last night, and a busy day today, I only had about ten minutes after dinner this evening to try and sort out what went where. I met the choir's conductor (a woman with no obvious self-doubt) shortly before the service/concert this evening. She had come armed with additional photocopied sheets and instructions for me. She seemed to take offence at me gently pointing out that, had I received the scores earlier, I'd have had a chance to learn the accompaniments rather than sight reading! I went through the scores with her, and we found that some of her instructions were wrong! Now, as for the choir, don't get me started on that one....! Suffice to say that all the items which are normally unaccompanied (including easy things like CFC arrangement of Silent Night) she asked me to play along with them to keep them together. I spent the whole evening trying to find what sheet we were on next, playing the organ with one hand and pedals whilst trying with my other hand variously to stop the loose sheets falling off the console, trying to turn the loose pages, or to find where the Dickens the next page was. It was an absolute nightmare and really rather nerve-wracking. Had anything gone awry, the organist would have looked as if he was to blame! I had to rescue the choir repeatedly. Had I provided a choir as originally agreed, everything would have gone smoothly. Just before the last carol, the president of the organization got up to thank various people. Of course, he lavished excessive and vomit-worthy praise on the choir, and there was a huge amount of applause for them. Why? Don't people use their ears? I don't normally swear in church, but heard myself spontaneously come out with a naughty word. Well, I had to either curse or vomit. He then went on to thank everybody and anybody who had contributed (and, it seemed, anybody who hadn't) at great length. And guess who he forgot (or couldn't be bothered) to thank? I don't normally like to have accolades for just doing my job, but I'd had a nerve-wracking 70 minutes and things had gone without a hitch purely because of my hard work and, dare I say, expertise. Well, I was so miffed that I made a silly little slip in the play-over to the last carol, which didn't help my mood at all! At the end of the event there was no mention of a fee, and no fee was forthcoming. I wondered why I had bothered. I went home via the off-licence, and am soothing myself with a glass of malt! Folks, are we organists and musicians regarded as second-class citizens or just items of church furniture?

Yeh, but surely it's a natural human need to bring order to chaos. That's why we have a (reasonably) structured society. That way we get to eat, have somewhere to live and to have (again, reasonably) comfortable lives - without somebody bigger coming along and taking all our possessions from us. Certainly, chaos wouldn't feed the hungry, heal the sick or love the unloved, but a structured society would have a much better chance despite its failings.

Yes, I agree about the organ which stood at Holy Trinity. A fine, moderately-sized 2 decker which had been transplanted from somewhere else. I held the fort there briefly when they were between organists and I was between jobs, and enjoyed it very much. I remember the organ at the old St. Luke's chapel seemingly being held together by string! I know there's a toaster in the new chapel now, but was the old organ destroyed?

Be honest with us, Vox. With all this research you're doing into Hele organs, I think you like them really. I bet you secretly long for a three manual Hele octopod.....

Why?

How do you expect me to be able to afford to buy a keyboard and a drum machine, Vox??? Please could I borrow yours?

So that's where I'm going wrong. Does anybody have some spare food please?

This is a terrific new website. Thanks Barry. The humour is great too! Best wishes. G

Count me in too!

Oh crumbs...that brings back memories of a female lay reader whom I used to suffer on a frequent basis. She had this condescending attitude which seemed to suggest that she regarded everybody else as utter imbeciles. This was very noticeable when she announced hymns. They would be announced (slowly) something like this "Now we shall all be upstanding to sing our next hymn which is the three-hundredth-and-sixty-fifth hymn in our red-coloured Ancient and Modern Revised hymn books which you will find in the pew in front of you. Hymn number three-hundred-and-sixty-five. Praise my SOUL, the KING of Heaven........to his FEET thy tribute BRING. Ransomed......healed......restored.....forgiven; WHO like me his PRAISE should SING. Hymn number three six five. Three-hundred-and-sixty-five". Well, of course, I got fed up with this after a time and would start playing the play-over after her first announcement of the number. Hence, when she realized that she wasn't going to be able to shout the organ down, she began announcing hymns very slowly: "Let us all now stand to sing together a hymn in the red-covered Hymns Ancient and Modern hymn book which you will find in the pew in front of you. Hymn number Threeeeeeeee-huuuuundreeeeed-aaaaaaand-siiiiixtyyyyyy-fiiiiiiive". She also had about four sermons which she rotated on a regular basis. As she did two Evensongs a month, the dwindling few of us attending Evensong could have got up and preached them for her. Her favourite was something about the Cross being "I" crossed out. Every couple of months she would announce "I was thinking only the other day, and the idea came to me that the Cross is "I" crossed out". You could hear the groan go around the half-dozen in the church, most notably from the organ loft.

A funny coincidence happened this afternoon after reading this topic. I went into town to do some shopping, and there were loads of these sorts of people getting under my feet, standing talking in doorways, walking into me whilst looking in the opposite direction, blocking pavements whilst having conversations, pushing in front of me at queues, standing aimlessly in the way doing absolutely nothing and with no sign of any intellectual processes taking place, suddenly coming to a stop for no apparent reason so I almost walk into the back of them....etc! My mood was not improved by the fact that I am suffering with "man flu" and that the garage who should have repaired my car nearly two weeks ago still have it and continue to make excuses, so I'm doing most things on foot, and getting drenched with the rain. I'm not usually this grumpy - honest! Then, in a queue in one of the shops, I noticed two schoolgirls behind me who weren't behaving terribly well. And then, all of a sudden, one of the girls sang the phrase "Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory" and then stopped! Well, I know that "hymn" is a load of old %^&* (and I can't even remember the first line - please don't anybody remind me!), but evidently there is a school around these parts which has some sort of Christian input in assembly. I was about to ask them which school they went to (they didn't seem to be wearing uniform) when the assistant became free and it was my turn to be served.

I know a few church musicians like that!

Yeh, but do they actually listen to it, Vox? Or is it just something they like to have in the background to put them "in the mood" whilst they go around spending hard-earned money on over-priced Christmas presents?

I agree!

Great idea, but a bit expensive when the organ tuner visits, I guess!

What about Town Hall organs then and other organs in secular buildings? Surely transcriptions were their raison d'etre!

I've just returned from a meeting with the vicar of one of my churches. He is hoping to purchase a set of new hymnbooks this month to replace our AMR and Mission Praise. His favourite is the latest version (I think) of Hymns Old & New about which I have some reservations. Mine is Common Praise, about which he has some reservations. I told him I'd ask the members of this excellent board for their recommendations and observations on the hymnbooks they use. Perhaps there are some suitable hymnbooks we haven't considered. The church is a middle-of-the-road Anglican church, middle class, middle age (and above), but with families from time to time. I think our idea is to keep in the tradition of Ancient & Modern, but to include a number of the better hymns and worship songs written since then. The vicar would also like a book that has something "suitable" for children when we have the occasional service geared towards them. We have a thriving and successful four-part choir, and a congregation who are generally very supportive towards the music, and discerning in their taste. We're after having just one hymnbook, and intend to put our existing books into retirement. Suggestions, recommendations and observations would be gratefully received! Thanks.

I'd heard good reports about that 4 manual along the road from you, and was hoping for good things up North. I understand that the organ I played the other day is better than it used to be with the previous electronics, but that's not saying much.

Ear wax?

Wasn't that the method GTB recommended? Yes, the first recital was in Yorkshire! I don't think that I was any more anxious than usual before this particular recital. Rather, I was somewhat disappointed because the Cathedral's "temporary" organ (I really hope it will be very temporary, although I believe it's been there for a while now) which I was anticipating to be a decent - albeit electronic - instrument, turned out to have all the musical charm and variety of a primitive transistor radio I had as a boy. When I played for the second recital, I was in a state of euphoria having found the second organ to be as beautiful as the first was bad. If I just say the name "Blackburn", some of you will know what I mean!

Many thanks for those links PCND. However, my problem is keeping my fingers warm whilst actually playing a recital in a cold church. I suppose, however, that a few seconds' use of a hand-warmer between pieces might help. It would certainly be of use during services. Perhaps I just shouldn't go up North to play!!

I've just returned from doing a couple of recitals "oop North". Unfortunately, at the first concert, whilst I spoke to the audience at the beginning of the recital, I felt my hands - previously warm - getting colder and colder. By the time I'd played the first piece, my fingers were like blocks of ice! This made all subsequent fast passagework problematic throughout the program, and I was dissatisfied with my playing. The audience - bless them! - seemed to enjoy the performance. But I didn't! The next day's recital, however, went swimmingly in a much warmer building. Frozen fingers also became my lot at a recital a week before, although not to the same extent. Normally I have warm hands, but cold lofty buildings in winter don't seem to agree with the giving of organ recitals! Any suggestions, please, folks? Granny gloves, portable heater?